I'm having a long weekend this week.
But i'm just rotting myself at home.
Perhaps i'm still not used to life this way.
Whatever.

I'm attending an interview at Ahmad Ibrahim Sec on tuesday!
What if I really got the job as an allied educator?
Am I really gonna quit my job at UOB as an AO?
I'm not really sure of what I want in life..
This question had been weighing on my mind since 14yrs old.
I remembered the time when I had to choose my streaming subjects for Sec 3.
I didn't know what I want at that time and so I just anyhow choose and got into the 3rd class of Express classes, taking Science(Phy/Chem), accounting, Food & Nutrition, Humanities(SS/Geog).

And so I went through Sec 3 and 4 just like that.
Not knowing what I want and accepting whatever that comes along.
Finally it was the day when we collected O levels results.
Well, my result was average - able to study in a Junior College.
So what's next - polytechnic or junior college?
I still didn't know what i want then..
Friends and relatives were giving advices..
My bestie, Adele actually wanted us to go to college together.
I know with her around, I will surely make it for A levels.
But there is still this fear in me - what if I can't pass my A levels?
At that point of time, my parents were also saying that I will be wasting my time if I flunk my A levels. Polytechnic will be a better choice.

And so this is why I had chosen to study in a polytechnic.
But still, the same problem persisted.
What do I want to do in future? Which course should I take?
I remembered my mum advicing me to take up business course.
I didn't want to as I thought it was a common course.
So biomedical science ended up as my first choice and so on...
The day where the course results were released..
And guess wat?
My 7th choice - Chemical Process Techonology, ended up as my final course.
I didn't want to do anything to change the fact.
Why? Cos I didn't know exactly what I want!
I accept whatever that comes along.

Sigh. Until today, the same problem still persists.
But Anders is really right about one thing.
Hold a steady job first to makes sure you don't have to worry for 3 meals.
Then you start thinking about what you really want in life.

I don't wanna think anymore.
Shall see...