after about a month of light meals,
i think my stomach can no longer take heavy meals.
it really took me hrs to digest those food.
had dinner at MOF with min hui last night.
ate at about 7pm.
and i really feel damn full all the way till 2am.
its really a sucky kind of feeling.
and dad cooked lunch this afternoon.
ate at 2pm and up till now it's 9pm.
and im feeling full full full.
is this normal? zz.

was feeling so much better than a cpl of mths ago.
concentrating on studies, and becoming prettier!
by losing some weight =]
lost only about 2kg in 3weeks.
kinda disappointing though.
was aiming for 5kg in a mth.
cut down on noodles and rice.
and on fast food and fried food.
increase my intake of fruits and veggies.
less pimples, smaller stomach.
started doing situps and going for a jog.
one bad habit that i can't kick yet - drinking -_-
i'm still as playful as ever!
and i think it's gonna continue for quite some time.

wishlist:
1. slim down
2. become prettier
3. find an event related job
4. be happier!

=]]]]

well, UOB d&d was not really enjoyable.
the food sucks.
and the ceiling leaks.
it was pouring heavily.
we were damn irritated by the leakage.
but the programs are still ok.
all the customer service managers put up a show.
and there was this beer competition.
i came in first in the first rd but forth in the 2nd rd.
cos i was dreaming when the incharge says start!
so wasted haha. but ah bom won in the end.

BUT the night was made enjoyable by chilling out!
met guan ming, zhan jiang, randy, karen & junxuan at fabulous!
and this wk's chilling out session was even more daring than last wk.
true or dare.
true - lots of very very very personal qns asked.
dare - lots of daring and weird actions.
e.g. karen and i kissed each other on the lips -.-
randy and zhan jiang shouted "i love u" to each other and kissed each other on the lips.
i took a photo with a stranger guy -_-

it was really hell loads of fun till 3am!
and we cab down to bishan.
the night continues with some chatting session.
and i was home at 7am -.-
feeling real tired..

omg can i pls dun be so playful?

went drinking on sat night.
we ordered 2 bottles of chivas.
as usual, got dead drunk towards the end.
hug him in cab and cried omg.
it's the most "throw face" incident ever.
both of them actually sent me home.
and he sent me up.
ended up sitting on the staircase finding my keys.
failed to find it.
he got no choice but to bring me down again and got into cab.
-.-..
ended up at his hse. -_-
i was too drunk to even walk straight and he had to carry me into his room (just in case i knocked into some stuffs and woke his family up i think.)

all i rmb was getting a shock when i woke up at 6am LOL.
a totally strange environment, surrounding.
saw him sleeping on the floor and recalled he actually brought me home -.-
went to use the washroom and its so difficult to open the door
and damn bloody scared tt i will be locked inside HAHA.
was intending to leave his hse quietly aft using the washroom.
but bloody hell.
i cant find my bag. and in the end woke him up.
he asked me to stay and rest for a while more.
well, was thinking might as well rest a while more since first train on a sunday isnt tt early.
so, ended up exploring his room and looking at school magazines!
and started suan-ing each other abt how we look during sec school. hahaha.

but somehow fell aslp in the end.
and woke up at ard 8.15am.
got another shocked cos i rmbed i was supposed to go home before his parents are up.
too late. his mum is already awake.
no choice.
act blur and said "hello auntie. im gg home. sorry to trouble u"
LOL.
it was a damn bloody no face kind of thing -.-.
got drunk and stayed over at a guy's hse. wtf.
wat makes it worse is tt..
when his dad came into his room in the morning
and commented "wah ur room reeks of alcohol smell."
he actually pointed at me (who is sleeping so soundly)!!!
ARGHHHH totally baddd badd baddd impression.
thanks man.

=====================================

i just realised dennis actually knows nixon's cousin.
for a moment, i was excited.
but then again, i recalled.
things were not the same as before.
so what has it got to do with me?

sighs. i need time to adapt.

=====================================

met up with nixon this afternoon.
he passed me my pressie.
it was a bracelet from mintmark&co.

the feeling before meetup was full of anxiety.
i was wondering how i will react when we meet.
and there's this 100times kind of reluctant feeling.
din really know wat to say when i met him.
just act as normal as i can.
i felt so much like crying aft we parted.
though im very sure all had ended and tt i had moved on,
im still a lil upset tt its all over.
afterall it's 2.5yrs.

eventually, i got my answer.

sometimes i do get reminded afterall.
is this just human nature?
it just makes me wonder though.
are u asking me out as a fren?
or are u hoping tt there will still be smth between us?

im so unsure of my own inner feelings.
i had the urge of asking u out suddenly.
cos im curious abt wat my reaction will be upon seeing u.
i just wanna find an ans for myself.

troubled.

IF, to him,
I'm just someone who is super duper normal,
why should I even bother letting him be someone special,
to ME?

i was just wondering..
when will i ever forget everything and focus?