i wannna make myself disappear.

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i'm just so very insignificant.
regardless to who it may be.

the pain is so deep inside tt im unable to cry it out loud.
wat should i do to help ease this pain of mine?

really feeling very very down.

clubbing tml.

pubbing on friday.

hate this lifestyle of mine.

but how can i enjoy life alone?

so used to having someone ard me.

the day i stopped drinking will be the day i let go of everything.

when will tt day ever come?

------------------------------------------------

just how am i feeling after 2 months?

no idea.

gone without sleep for a day.
own personal record man.
midnight mahjong with the siao kias on fri night.
played till 6am and won $7. haha.
washed up at jy hse.
left for work at about 7am.

luckily i didn't have to count much cash during work.
just greeting of customers.
been a walking zombie for that 8am - 12.30pm.
i just went on and on even when customers said they didn't want to apply for PIB.
the results of not sleeping for a night.
went to walk around at tiong bahru with huiling aft work.
grumbling about everything and everything to her.
and shes complaining of cos. whahaha.
realise i will tend to grumble a lot when i have insufficient slp!
this will be the very last time.

ok finally met up with anders and grp at 3.30pm.
bought drinks and were on the way to the chalet.
we played 2 games against north bridge and won!
but i think they were complaining about the unfairness.
whatever.

ok boss keep insisting tt all of us drink.
drank 2 glasses of red wine.
huiling drank 1 glass of red wine and a lil of beer.
she hit boss aft tt!! LOL!!
guess shes already drunk and tears keep rolling down her cheeks.
just like me when im drunk eh. lol.
cant tahan aft the consumption of red wine.
gina gave me a ride to bishan mrt.
reached home at 11pm.
but i din slp! i audi aft bathing.
cos my old hdd came back!!!!
and finally wanted to faint at 1am.

so fainted on my bed.
and woke up at 6pm.
cool. seems like a waste of time.
this will be the very last time.

been selected to take up a post at UOB call centre.
just wondering why am i the one.
since they said they require someone who is competent,
they should have selected kelvin or hui ling.
for i think i arent competent enough.
i admit i'm seriously lacking in self-confidence.

save me.

wishing to shed some 10kg or so.
but i love food too.
any ideas how?

finally i get a day away from work.
how long can u withstand with PIB and I-account everyday?
especially when u are a meeter greeter.
u are expected to bring in customers for both PIB & I-account.
Damn it.


I had a dream last night.
i dreamt that i went with him to genting again.
was happy shopping with him in genting when we met his colleague.
his colleague commented "eh u all patch up already?"
i replied no. just a holiday in genting..
then i woke up to find myself lying on my comfy bed.
it's just a dream!
i admit i still miss him aft 2months.
but seriously better than before.


lots of difficulties encountered lately.
as usual, mood does improve after talking cock. hahaha.

I'm 50% better.
This is from the bottom of my heart.
I can feel it deep down. =)
Well, doing crazy things do make me feel much better.

However, life is not always about having fun.
Time to be serious and get down to work!
Looking forward to starting class.

where's my results?

Yeah man.
Doing crazy things nowadays.
Having fun weekends!

As of this week:
1. Friday - Xian Long's 21st birthday party
I think i was so damn hyper at the party.
I started the singing of birthday song with a "1,2,3"
whahaha. and help distribute the cups of alcohol!
and talk a lot of crap till the extent ttange tot i was drunk.
i din even drink in the first place. -_-

2. Saturday - pubbing at fabulous!
with chloe, hao quan, randy, zhan jiang & randy's fren.
played card game. the alcohol finished quite fast with the ongoing game.
was as fun as usual.

3. Sunday - aug bday celebration, family dinner, midnight mahjong!
cos of having a late night on sat, i woke up at 2pm.
met up with lin and aug at amk hub. was 1 hr late. damn. haha.
after that they went for a spin around changi area and i went to have dinner with my family.
costs me $81.80. but the food was nice and they like it. so, overall it was worth it.
daddy sent me to j8 to meet up with lin and aug aft tt.
and we went for mahjong session at jy hse.
lin and aug left at ard 1am though.
randy, jiang, jy and i went for supper at thomson and continue aft tt.
the 4 of us were so damn stupid.
i think around 4am our brain can't really function well.
keep doing stupid things. whahaha.
was really fun and keep laughing like nobody's business.

4. monday - slacking at home
was really tired aft a night of mahjong.
slept like nobody's business also.
a bit wasted though. not much activity done today.